Sunday, September 19, 2004

pilager '04

the guardian talks about john sayles new movie, silver city. it looks pretty funny. anyway, it's about a political campaign, and they put up a fake campaign site that you should check out:

Enemies of our country will try to impede the freedoms which made our great state great. Freedom built our gold mines. Freedom killed the Indians who lived here. Freedom raped our natural resources. Freedom transformed this wild frontier into our home, and I will not idly sit while godless, valueless cowards attempt to hijack our free democratic institutions. With the help of our military forces around the world and within our country, we will preserve our freedoms and keep Colorado safe. A vote for Dickie Pilager is a vote against the terrorists. Don’t let them win! Not in Colorado!
[...]
We all have the constitutional right and a responsibility to bear arms. As governor, I will not only make it easier and less of a hassle to buy guns, I will personally sell guns on the Internet at prices you won’t believe. Owning a gun is the only way to ensure that wrongdoers will play it straight and not threaten others. Guns keep people safe. Guns keep our country safe. Would you rather our army not have guns? Are you even a patriot? Exactly.
[...]
We live in the most beautiful state in the Union. Yet, we rank only #35 in tourism. Maryland gets more tourism dollars than Colorado. Now, I’m no tourism expert, but I would bet my bottom dollar that no one wakes up in the morning and turns to their husband or wife or non-homosexual partner and says “Honey, let’s go on a trip to Maryland!"

See what I’m saying here? As Governor, I will turn Colorado into America’s playground. Give us your rich, your upper middle class, your trust fund babies yearning to spend their parents’ money on knock-off tribal jewelry sold by Indians on the side of the interstate. We’ve got skiing, hiking, horseback riding, fishing, rafting, canoeing, cycling, hunting, running, jogging, speed walking and normal walking. Colorado has it all!

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