Sunday, October 31, 2004

Give a hoot, don't pollute.

After watching the Steelers physically man-handle the Patriots like I man-handle JHC's dad, I was walking home and witnessed a woman walking her dog.

Of course, the dog had to relieve himself. But instead I got a special treat. He squated and began to deficate. I was actually impressed to see that the woman was prepared as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a plastic bag. Very considerate, I must say.

As I passed I felt the urge myself, so I stopped at the next tree. After making sure it wasn't already marked, I unbuckled my belt, pulled down my pants, and squated. There's nothing like the cool autumn air blowing past your anus.

I finished right as the woman was walking by me. With a disgusted look, she just stared. Realizing what I had just done, I quickly searched my pockets for a plastic bag, but alas, I was left empty handed. I looked at her and asked if she wouldn't mind picking up after me.

For some reason, the woman just turned and walked away. I couldn't believe it. She was good enough to pick up after her dog, but not good enough to help out a fellow human. If you ask me, she was a stuck up bitch. I don't know, if I'm the only one, I'll shut up.

I should have eaten her dog.

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