Sunday, June 13, 2004

One for the guys

I have a roommate. We get along great. We both would have no problem watching television all afternoon and/or evening; we both would rather sleep in than get up; and we both know that the bathroom needs cleaning, but neither of us do anything about it. So now you know, we share a bathroom.

Taking a look into this bathroom, one would notice the plethora of bathroom related objects. In the shower- bottles of shampoo, conditioners, Caress soap, body wash, Noxzema facial cream, shaving cream, and razors. Around the sink- toothpaste, toothbrushes, mouthwash, a couple of hair styling products, facial astringent, skin lotion, and those facial strips to clean out your pores.

Now, one thing you need to know about my roommate...she's a woman. So now you must be thinking to yourself that most of these products make sense - the Noxzema, the Caress, the hair products, the astringent. There's also one more thing you need to know about my roommate...she doesn't use these things.

That's right, the pink soap, the Noxzema, the astringent, and the hair styling products are all mine. I'm secure enough to admit it. I mean, Caress doesn't dry out my skin, Noxzema just makes your face feel clean, the astringent is great to avoid razor burn, and the hair has to look good somehow. For the record, I never bought the facial strips for cleaning out the pores. Sadly, I have used them.

So I'm writing this for all the real men out there. I support the men who can admit they use more facial and hair products than their female roommate. It's time for the 21st century man to stand up and be counted. It's hard work looking this good. And if hair and facial products are the price to pay for good hair and clean pores, I have only one thing to say - "Do you take Visa?"

I, for one, am not afraid to make a stand.

This has been Jesus Henry Christos, and I use more products than my female roommate.


At 12:55 PM, Blogger Jesus Henry Christos said...

dude, you're crossing lines.

as administrator of this blog, i'm this far away (this |...| far) from kicking your ass.

At 1:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, I didn't realize Jesus Henry Christos' blow-up doll counted as a roommate.

At 2:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't know his blow-up doll counted as a roommate?

At 3:57 PM, Blogger Jesus Henry Christos said...

anonymous, you stuttering buffoon, i have a realdoll, not a blow-up doll. there's a huge difference.

i very well might be a sexually and morally bankrupt loser, but i'm a RICH fucking loser.

and yes, in case you were wondering, i do consider bhutros bhutros dolly a roommate.

although it would be nice if her lazy ass would take the trash out once in awhile.

At 4:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I consider a blow-up doll (or a RealDoll (TM)) to be the moral equivalent of masturbating. I think that only puts you in the second or third level of Dante's circle. By the way, check out :

At 6:13 PM, Blogger Jesus Henry Christos said...

ah yes, the second level of hell. being "blown...endlessly" sounds quite refreshing actually.


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