Thursday, July 01, 2004

Travelling Correspondent

Since Jesus rarely leaves a 2 state radius of an unnamed state, I've decided to appoint myself our travelling correspondent: I'll bitch about foreign countries to my heart's content. Last week, I was rounding off a trip in Italy. Italians make great food, but siesta is a real problem. Even though I was spending most of my time on the beach, every once in a while I wanted to do something useful between the hours of one and four PM. Sadly, all my efforts were thwarted: everything was always shut. Besides the laziness factor, things were pretty good.

Then I went to France. I really don't like many things about France. First, the keyboards are really screwed up. I'm tired of the q being where the a is supposed to be. An even worse problem is the racism. Last summer I was in Paris and when I sat down on the subway next to old French women they would look at me and move away. Terrible. I thought it was just OLD French women that did this. This year I learned that there are even YOUNG French women that do it at 9AM at the bus station. Jesus I support you: the french are cowards.

Anyway, I go back to germany for most of the rest of the summer. There I look forward to dealing with the arabic drug dealers in my neighborhood and the skinheads that live further east of me. Sometimes I wonder why I leave the US. But then I just remind myself of our wonderful president....


At 1:54 PM, Blogger Jesus Henry Christos said...

i can't believe you would say something this. you KNOW that i'm a half french half german half italian arab and i'm married to a skinhead. i expect it from other people, but from YOU TOO???

presumably, the french ladies were moving away from you because you are american, and they were afraid you would bomb the fuck out of them. a reasonable assumption, considering you've dropped bombs in such numbers and of such size as to clog my toilet three fucking times in the past year.

i hope you have a good time during the balance of your trip.


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