somewhere, a crack addict is mistakenly smoking a three musketeers bar

via harper's weekly review:

A six-year-old Florida girl took $1,000 worth of crack cocaine to school; her mother said she must have got it trick-or-treating.

as far as i'm conscerned, this is a pretty good excuse. not because of its veracity, but because of its style. i salute you mother of six-year-old florida girl.