Damn dirty tree huggers

I find it ironic that these so-called eco-tourists were traveling on a gasoline powered boat. What fucking hypocrites! What's the matter, was their boat that runs on nice thoughts and self-righteousness in the shop?

It seems no one was hurt. Good thing too, because it would have been difficult for them to drive home in their SUV's if they were unable to shift on the fly into four-wheel drive to get over that speed bump in the parking lot.

But all's well that ends well, everybody's shirt collars stayed up. Except for one guy, whose collar was a little limp on the right side due to the ordeal. I heard it's being sent back to J. Crew for inspection. I just hope that the guy didn't remove the "Inspected by #'x'" sticker so it can be put on that Inspector's permanent record.

Unfortunately, cleaning up the mess proved to be a bit hectic. They were unable to predict the flow of the oil since the clean-up crew mistakenly trained using ping-pong balls instead of popcorn to simulate oil spills.