If faced with a bear, play drunk.

This article is about a bear who went into campers' coolers and drank all their beer. I found it hilarious when it said the bear tried the Busch, but then switched to the local microbrew. That's awesome. But only 36 beers. Either the bear is a light-weight, or the people he stole the beers from where a bunch of old ladies. But the best was what the rangers used as bait to trap him.

Of course, after being charge with public drunkeness and sleeping it off in the drunk cave, he had to call his cousin the Molsen bear to bail him out. And with the Canadian-American exchange rate, the Molsen bear is going to have to whore himself out some more to the corporate pimps.

Commenting on his cousin's binge, the Molsen bear replied, "We knew this was coming. It was just a matter of time. It all started with the picnic baskets back at Jellystone; Ranger Smith warned us. The picnic baskets were just a "gateway" for him to experiment with new things. I also blame that little friend of his, Boo Boo."